She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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