Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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