If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i out mim tonsoeep
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