the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
