I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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