How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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