Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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