she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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