i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sober January is a disaster.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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