I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
