Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
