Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
