this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
