If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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