Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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