i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
