At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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