there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
