if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
