Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
