All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize