Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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