he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
