Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
