So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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