The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
