i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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