i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
