When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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