she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
