i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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