He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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