You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
