Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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