Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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