her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
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I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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