I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You should frame my arrest warrant.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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