So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My dick has a subreddit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
