idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Operation Purity has been aborted
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
