I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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