The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
