White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
