In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
In other news, I just burned my penis
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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