i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
