it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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