508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
