I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
