Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
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You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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