I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need help removing her.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
