my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
