My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
