If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize