Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
