they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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